TITLE:Right Now

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    Ryan Star_2's picture
    TITLE:Right Now
    Posted by
    Ryan Star
     
    May 19, 2008

    In the fear of being one of those bloggers who disappear, I just want to say hello and that I am feeling great. I hope everyone went outside and felt the world around them today.

    Sometimes it's healthy to think about dying. I think about it everyday. Not in a mournful, depressing way, but in a beautiful sense. Think about that moment when you leave this world and the things you will miss. Like when you have a sore throat and you can't even remember what it feels like to have no pain.

    Take stock of the little things and the big things and then surround yourself with them all the time.

    Close your eyes for 1 minute now and then leave a note here for us all to read.

    nature32

    Comments (35)
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Ryan Star_2's picture
Submitted by Ryan Star_2
on May 19, 2008

In the fear of being one of those bloggers who disappear, I just want to say hello and that I am feeling great. I hope everyone went outside and felt the world around them today.

Sometimes it's healthy to think about dying. I think about it everyday. Not in a mournful, depressing way, but in a beautiful sense. Think about that moment when you leave this world and the things you will miss. Like when you have a sore throat and you can't even remember what it feels like to have no pain.

Take stock of the little things and the big things and then surround yourself with them all the time.

Close your eyes for 1 minute now and then leave a note here for us all to read.

nature32

Comments

Fan_466's picture

May 25, 2008 — Fan_466
Your post really set me thinking. I was just wondering if there was anything wrong with me. Because I'm but 17 and yet I think of death every single day. My greatest fear is that one day, I'd just disappear off the face of the Earth. Would I be able to continue feeling all the things I can feel now. There would be so many things left unsaid and undone, and would I have led a fulfilling life. I read somewhere that everyone lives as if their lives would not end one day. And I feel that this is true, coz we fear the topic of death, and shun away from it. We read about people dying everyday in the newspapers. But it never occurs to us that we might just be next. I want to lead a satisfying and fulfilling life but I have already gotten so caught up in the rat race, going through mundane activities, leaving me with no clue as to how to really live a life worth living.
Fan_470's picture

May 23, 2008 — Fan_470
This topic hits home to me this week because my son overdosed on heroin on Wednesday. I found him just in time to call 911 and EMS was able to save him. I also believe the death is not the end, but when I thought my son was taking his last breath, the value of having him alive one more day was all that mattered. It was a miracle that I found him when I did and I want to say a special thanks to God for allowing him another chance to find his true purpose on this planet. "Yeah though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for thou art with me. Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me." Psalm 23:1 CanadianChick: Peace be with you, my friend.
Tina_2's picture

May 22, 2008 — Tina_2
As I open my eyes I feel calmness and peace for this moment. However, it is very difficult for me to associate death with beauty even in the sense you talk about after facing the death of my child. But as I experience more and more of life, I am able to recognize how we are all connected in this universe in small ways more than anything. Like when the warm wind blows on my face it makes me feel someone is with me. In my life I have learned that it is truly the small things like a smell or a touch that really matter. Unfortunately those smells fade which is really sad. Cherish every moment everyone. I agree "LIVE".
Fan_478's picture

May 21, 2008 — Fan_478
Can't help but to think of the words you sent me almost a year ago. My father had just passed away and S.F.T.E.O.A.E. had pretty much pulled me through the first really rough weeks. You wrote that music let's you feel and that has stuck by me. When I die I hope there will be music around me; it has been my main source of comfort, support and strength. Thank you again for that message, it meant and still means a lot to me.
Fan_374's picture

May 21, 2008 — Fan_374
let the creative spirit, Love, decide when it is time to "go" You all have a purpose to discover, and for some... hone. Find that wave and death will no longer be feared. We are spirit-beings in a material world, fear not the physical death, but be sure to nurture the vessel you're in =) LIVE
Glow's picture

May 21, 2008 — Glow
My father's parents lost their memories before they died. I don't fear not being remembered. I fear not remembering. Every night when I close my eyes, I burn images into my brain. I don't want to forget the way things feel, the smells, the looks, the sounds of the things that are important to me. A wise and beautiful man wrote the words I live by: "Remember the day, cause this is what dreams should always be. I just want to stay. I just want to keep this dream in me." I can hear him sing whenever something happens that I want to remember forever.
mystixmind's picture

May 21, 2008 — mystixmind
To die is to be born again into new life We’ve all dreamt it, smelled it, feared it, lived it, Now, we know it, crave it, need it, do it. Ah, yes many times, many ways all throughout our living days. When’s the last time you died? Why I died just today!
Fan_364's picture

May 20, 2008 — Fan_364
I think about death every day as someone who attempted suicide 2 years ago. That sensation to fade away never goes away but I am learning to glorify life and the relationships I hold with people, even if some of those fade over time. Also, as someone with a progressive physical disability I could think of my life as worthless as being a waste of space but rather I appreciate life more now and plan to use nature to empower others, with and without disabilities. I feel like my life has purpose when I think about that.
Misty's picture

May 20, 2008 — Misty
Sometimes I get scared your going to be a blogger that disappears too. But you fixed that with this, for a little while anyway. Thanks. P ps. article submitted will let you know.
Fan_368's picture

May 20, 2008 — Fan_368
wow your blog kinda saddened me. the girls over at inxs.com have a friend that just moved to las vegas and shes been sick. Well, after 7 months they fianlly diagnosed her with mrsa, cause of her insurance, which will withhold name, and aggrevation. she still hasn't been treated proparly and cause of her insurance there trying to find a different doctor for her. I just hope it's not to late for her. I dont' want to leave this world knowing I didn't make a difference, but the girls at work can tell you I leave a 1 word mark.
disapearlikemagic's picture

May 20, 2008 — disapearlikemagic
Ditto that "harrymanback"! And Ryan-very cool blog question. The girls and I at work had some great discussions about it today....
amindlostonwine's picture

May 20, 2008 — amindlostonwine
It's funny you post this because I always think about this at least once a day. I've always looked at like from a James Stewart kind of view. I always wonder if my actions made a difference in anybody's life or helped make life easier. I'm not afraid of dying. It's something that happens to everybody eventually. My only wonder will be how people will remember me. Will I be remembered as a friend or not? It's why I try to do as many good deeds as I can. I want to be remembered as a good person.
Lisa_6's picture

May 20, 2008 — Lisa_6
It's not being dead I fear as much as the act of dying. I figure being dead is the easy part. I admit I may not always live as though every day is my last, I do try to have as many experiences as possible. And not to put off the things I want to do.
harryhmanback's picture

May 20, 2008 — harryhmanback
Live for the now ... when you are dead, let those left behind do the reminiscing.
Jules's picture

May 20, 2008 — Jules
Hello Ryan, I would love to sit down and have a long conversation with you:-) We seem to be on the same wavelength right now. I think about death as moving on of our spirit. It's hard to think about sometimes because as much as it's a continuation, it's hard to lose people we love. I know life goes on after death, without a doubt. The time spent in the physical body is so short and that's what scares me. It scares me into realizing how much each day means and how much appreciation I have for all the beautiful people in my life. Closing my eyes for a moment I try and turn off the constant worry that comes along with being a Mom and wife and just breath. I don't have full control over what life brings. Worry is a waste of time and time is all we have. I just want to love more, gain more wisdom and focus on what's important. Love to you.
billyfrog's picture

May 20, 2008 — billyfrog
Thank you Ryan. I have struggled with happiness my whole life. I just can't reach that feeling that I hear everyone has daily. I like and love a lot of things but don't pull the happiness into my soul. I am so scared to die because of the unhappy person that I am - I don't want to die without feeling the wholeness that I hear so much about. What is it to feel 'ready' or at peace with death? I used to lie in bed at night and close my eyes and try to imagine what 'forever' would feel like. It always felt empty and dark and lonely. That is what I hear death is - forever. I know there are things bigger than me. As I approach 30 (July 2) it bring up all of these emotions and questions about your life before and what is to come. I feel a strong pull to figure out what is broken inside of me. I lack something - my mission is to find out what that is. Thanks Ryan. Always pushing people to think deeper. Hugs To YOU Carla
disapearlikemagic's picture

May 20, 2008 — disapearlikemagic
My biggest fear of dying would be things unsaid. I try to always say what I feel even when it is hard to so that I have no regrets, with family, friends, those who I admire, etc. I never want to have to think that i wish I had told them that I.... Of course I would miss all my loved ones more than anything, but If I could pick one little thing - it would be the the feel of the wind in my hair on a hot sunny day on my way to the beach to just relax. ahhhhhh. a little piece of heaven. :)
Lynn_2's picture

May 20, 2008 — Lynn_2
My fear of dying is leaving my daughter who is only 7. I want to watch her grow up and start to drive, date, live on her own. Sometimes life feels like it's too much, and then I look at her and smile and thank God I have her. I hope that when I do pass, I have left my daughter and my friends and family with the knowledge that it's ok to be you. We all have flaws, but we find the biggest peace in being ourselves, loving what we love and loving ourselves for being able to express it without the stress of society.
StrangelilGirl78's picture

May 20, 2008 — StrangelilGirl78
If I were to leave this earth right now, I would know I am loved. I close my eyes and smile knowing I have freedom that so many fight for. This blog makes me grateful for my wonderful boyfriend...tsd
mangomelon's picture

May 20, 2008 — mangomelon
I work in a hospital ER and I see death all the time. Recently, an elderly woman died on a Sunday afternoon. But before she went, most of her children and grandchildren got to the hospital. They were all gathered around her bed telling her they loved her and thanking her for the life she gave them. She passed surrounded by love and gratitude. It was beautiful. I always liked the concept of "live for today" but I never could figure out how to live it without also being terribly irresponsible. That all changed one week in October 2006 when I met this amazing group of artists and friends for the first time as we sampled the differences between various House of Blues' in So CA. All of a sudden it made sense. I could clearly see how living for the moment did not equal disregard for the future. I don't know how. There was no conversation about it, no explanation, it was just suddenly there. In one week my outlook changed and I have never been the same. I am living and if I die tomorrow it will be alright because I will finally get to know the real answer to the question "what happens after you die?" I am not afraid. Ok maybe I am afraid of one thing ... if I died right now, my parents would be faced with the task of going through my house and personal effects ... and therefore my parents would find my sex toys. ack. xoxo
Fan_357's picture

May 20, 2008 — Fan_357
When I was 14 I was diagnosed with polyarteritus. It made my kidneys fail and I was on my death bed.. literally. My parents were told I would not live through the night. I spent a lot of time thinking about death that night. I didn't sleep because I was afraid I wouldn't wake up. I'm here today.. alive and well.. thanks to some grace.. and my father, who donated his kidney to me. Every day I appreciate what I have... and that I live to breathe. EVeryone has a purpose so why not strive for that goal. Mindless.. needless stuff is not necessary. Life is beautiful... appreciate it.
Fan_377's picture

May 20, 2008 — Fan_377
About three years ago I went to the funeral of one of my baby "brothers." He was 33 when he died suddenly after having been hospitalized for a week. His funeral was one of the most joy-filled events I've ever attended despite the sorrow at the core of the day. Why? Because Brandon was one of the few people I know who really got what it means to appreciate the people you love and love the people who surround you. At Brandon's funeral, we all received the gift of each other's love and appreciation if only for one day. It was his final gift to all of us. Thinking about death makes me think about life and the things that I will miss when I'm not here anymore. And then I realize that I will probably never miss the love of those who have the deepest ties to me because if we can still love and miss those who are gone, then how can they not feel that love wherever they are? It's all connected. It's all love.
Fan_358's picture

May 20, 2008 — Fan_358
I miss the ocean. The taste of the salt on your lips as you dunk under a wave; the sting in your eyes as a huge wave crashes onto you; the feel of the sand in between your toes, all cool and damp; or the sounds of the waves hitting the shore at night.
spaceykasey's picture

May 20, 2008 — spaceykasey
Never borrow trouble- Imaginary things are harder to bear than real ones...
Fan_408's picture

May 20, 2008 — Fan_408
This moment...right now...is the only one you are guaranteed to have...to smell, hear, see, taste, and/or touch...anything. Devour it. Don't waste it. I just spent two hours watching the full moon cross my window, listening to the cars on the highway go along, fingers typing away, spewing words, waiting to taste the rocky road in my freezer, waiting to touch ... Love : )
Fan_471's picture

May 20, 2008 — Fan_471
I used to not ever think about dying, then 3 months ago I was diagnosed with breast cancer and I spent about a month thinking about it every day. Feeling sorry for myself and crying a lot! Now I spend my time thinking about living. You can have 10 minutes, 10 days, 10 years....or whatever...left of life. It's all about what you do with the time you have. I now make sure I let the people that I love know that I love them. I am a better friend, daughter, sister, mom. I try not to waste energy on things that don't matter. Life truly is short. For all of us. Love it and live it well and when you leave it, have no regrets! Rock on Ryan xx - Michele
kraskacz's picture

May 20, 2008 — kraskacz
Hi Ryan, nice blog :-) A little depressing for me though. I live as if every day was my last day, you never know when it will be, but I want to stay around for a while, well for now at least ;o) Last year my grandma died that sadly I couldn't see in 10 years, it was very very sad, yet I tried to remember all the good things about her and we had a party to celebrate her life, because she was such a cheerful person :o) Love hugs and kisses to you and all your fans Marketa
Fan_473's picture

May 20, 2008 — Fan_473
I have a archive in my brain of all of the moments that truly make me feel alive. Sometimes I don't realize it was an "alive moment" until much later, and sometimes the moment truly takes my breath away. The one thing I hope to pass onto my children is to take every day and live it like you never will again, and find every "alive moment" you can and embrace it. I am certain that when I die, and my life flashes before my eyes, it will be all of those moments.
Fan_359's picture

May 20, 2008 — Fan_359
when i close my eyes i see a slideshow of memories, my past, moment by moment. I appreciate the people I've met, those that I have loved and also those I have lost. I feel lucky for being alive no matter how bad the economy is, I feel sympathy for china and the earthquakes, for the disasterous tornadoes and floods, and now the fires in Florida. I also embrace feeling the sun on my face on a warm day, feeling those sparks when y ou fall for someone just when you had lost hope in every feeling that again, in the innocence and love of animals and above all what would life be like without the awesome gift of music. I WOULD NOT LAST A DAY WITHOUT IT! MUSIC=LIFE
Fan_476's picture

May 20, 2008 — Fan_476
i fear change. always have. i tend to worry a lot and sometimes it is things i can control, but most of the time it isn't. i think about all the changes in my life, some good and some bad and when you put it all together it makes me who i am. if i had not had the experiences i've had with the people i've had them with, i wouldn't be who i am. if i died tomorrow, i'd die a happy person. i love my husband and my kids and would do anything for them. i love my family and my friends and while most of them would call me the klutzy annoying one, i believe they all know how much i love and appreciate them.

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